Health in Your Hands - Silver Age Marriage, Long-lasting Companionship
Text: Miss Lee Suk Yee, Social Worker, Family and Counselling Services, St. James' Settlement
“It takes a hundred years of cultivation to share the same boat, and a thousand years of cultivation to share the same bed.” Those who are destined to become a couple, when their children grow up, the silver-haired couple returning to their world of two is also an opportunity to rediscover their relationship.
From "Parents" back to "Couple"
During the process of raising children, the couple's energy is primarily focused on their children, work, and family. When children become the centre of the family, the topics of conversation between the couple often revolve around the children's daily lives. As the children begin to live independently, the parents may no longer feel needed or have the goal of earning a living for the family, and it is inevitable for parents to feel a sense of loneliness and confusion.
Returning to a world for two, as couples spend more time together, they can try adjusting their life plans, such as cultivating shared interests, exercising, volunteering, travelling, and so on, to increase topics of conversation and establish new life goals. They should attempt to reinvest time and energy into their relationship. It is important to remember that a partner is not merely a cohabitant, but a cherished companion. They need to learn to communicate openly, listen, and express their true feelings, avoiding criticism that digs up old grievances, and respecting each other's emotional needs.
Together stepping into a new stage of life
As they age, elderly couples may face challenges such as a decline in income, physical ability, cognitive function, and changes in sexual physiology, which can lead to feelings of confusion, panic, and anxiety. However, from another perspective, this also marks the beginning of a readjustment. Couples can learn together to regulate their pace of life, adopt health-preserving methods, and care for each other's chronic illnesses, working hand in hand to cope with changes and becoming each other's safe haven. It is important to make good use of social resources and seek assistance from professionals, such as doctors and social workers, when needed.
As we enter our silver years, marriage not only needs to be sustained but also deeply cultivated. Cherish the person in front of you, be grateful for their constant companionship, and hand in hand, move forward into the unknown; this is the most touching mature love. The St. James' Settlement Wan Chai Integrated Family Service Centre is also committed to promoting family health. For inquiries, please feel free to call 2835 4342 to contact the duty social worker.
